Stop Saying "You're Good"—Here's How to Actually Give Feedback

Saying “you’re good” or “great job” is not enough. In fact, it’s not even useful.

Let me tell you something: “You are good” is not feedback. It’s bullshit.

Why Generic Praise Doesn’t Work

If you want to express gratitude or provide real feedback, you need to share:

1. The situation (so they can recall it)
2. What you observed (specific actions)
3. The consequences (what impact it had)

Bad Feedback

“You did this well!”

Good Feedback

“I remember when you did X in this specific way. In that situation, you did Y and Z. This created effect ABC, which was useful for us because it allowed me to have more time to do XYZ. It helped the team grow thanks to your contribution.”

The Formula: Situation → Action → Consequence

Rephrase the situation so the other person can remember or recall it (not “empathize”—recall).

Describe what you saw them do. This is useful because:

• Maybe they did way more than you realized
• Maybe they did less than they thought
• Maybe they don’t even understand that’s what they did

Explain the consequences (as objectively as possible). Feedback should be about facts, not opinions.

Adding Constructive Feedback

You can also add something useful for growth:

“I believe you’re not able to do X, Y, Z yet. In this case, I needed to step in because [specific reason]. I didn’t have time to do ABC as a consequence.”

Always describe what happens when something is done (or not done).

The “Bravo” Problem (For My Kids)

In Italy, we have a word: “Bravo” (which means “good”). I try to avoid saying this to my kids because it’s a completely meaningless word.

Instead of: “Bravo!”

I say:

“Because you prepared your homework during the week, you had way more time to play and have fun this weekend—even for me. But the previous week, when you didn’t prepare well, we needed to spend all Saturday and Sunday doing homework. As a consequence, we didn’t have time to play. I was a bit disappointed. We weren’t able to study well together.”

Situation → Action → Consequence.

Summary

Please don’t just say “you are bravo” or “you’re good.” That’s not enough. That’s not useful.

Instead:

• Empathize with the other person
• Provide feedback that’s useful for them
• Be neutral and kind

They’ll appreciate it—even in difficult situations (like when you need to let them go or end a relationship).